We've Returned to the 21st Century

You read that title right. You didn't know that we were living in the stone ages in my household did you?

 

I mean, we totally believe in birth control and all that. No Duggar situation going on here.

 

However, even though we are doing our part to keep the human population down, we've been living without cable. For four years.

 

FOUR.

 

Four years of no Food Network, no Monday night football, no Intervention or Hoarders. No Keeping Up with the Kardashians. No DVR.

 

You ask how I survived that long. Well, first of all, I'm a big nerd and I love to read. It was an adjustment at first, but I simply made more trips to our local library. And, when you are sans 500 channels and re-runs you, GASP, can be more productive. If you want to, that is. Otherwise you can rent movies and watch cooking shows over and over on PBS Create. Or, just sleep.

 

Oh, glorious sleep. Sleep where you are totally out on the couch by 9:00 p.m. and after you go to bed at 11:00 p.m. you don't stir until 9:00 a.m. Oh, sleep, how I miss you.

 

Sorry. Sleep is my favorite fantasy.

 

Anyways, maybe you're asking, why did you finally get cable then? (Actually satellite because although we can see a major university from our house, we can't get cable where we live. In the middle of corn fields. Just like Children of the Corn.) Well, perhaps you recall me telling that I got a new job where I work from home. It's still fabulous, but let me tell you this-- I adore anything childish, including any kind of cartoons, but I reached a point last week where I thought I was going to throw something big and heavy at our brand new fancy schmancy TV if I had to watch the same episode about earthworms on the Cat and the Hat Knows a Lot About That! one more stinking time.

 

And so, now we have satellite TV. Mommy gets whatever prevents her from destroying major household items.

Only two days into having several channels again and my memory is returning of what living the glorious life with cable is like. Here are some highlights:  

• Commercials suck.
• DVR's make them better.
• Even the TV shows that my husband and I like are completely different (Ahem, no I do NOT want to watch the Science or Military Channel with you, husband. Thanks so much for the offer, though). Opposites do attract.
• Not only does TV watching waste time, but so does scanning through the 120+ channels that we have, which I do about three times before I recognize that nothing is on, so I might as well turn it back to Disney.
• My daughter likes Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. Don't tell her dad. 
• She also likes to dance to the theme music for Pulp Fiction, and I believe that this makes me the cool mom.
• Hoarders makes me feel better about my house.

And now, it's time for me to find where Amelia hid the remote control so we can watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse all day. Happy Thursday!