Thursday, April 19, 2012

Mama's Gone Crazy!

Do you ever have one of those fights with your significant other where you fantasize about doing horrible things to him?

That happened to me yesterday.

That fight was also followed by car trouble which resulted in me missing my sanity time at the gym to go pay $150 for a new battery instead.

I was not a happy camper. In fact, I cried for two hours yesterday morning. While this probably sounds overly dramatic, I will admit that I still have times where I do not handle stress very well. And, if crying till my eyes are swollen and disgusting gets out all my angst, then so be it.

The unfortunate part is that I now have a daughter that witnesses all this. As I sobbed and yelled at my husband on the phone, she was toddling about playing with her toys. At some point, she approached me with a cup of peaches, stating "Peach! More!" So I dragged my miserable self into the kitchen for a spoon, tried to suck it up and stop crying, and placed her on my lap. While I had calmed down somewhat, I was still crying a little. Amelia poked one of my tears, as if to say, hmm, Mama's eyes leak sometimes too! Ever the counselor who is looking for teachable moments about emotions, I told her, "That's right, Mama gets sad sometimes too."

To which she replied "More! Peach! More!"

My gratitude about such a morning is that I have oodles of strong, supportive women in my life that are willing to drop everything and do whatever will help. I had at least two offers of taking Amelia off my hands for a few hours so I could have some me time. But I have to admit, I didn't need it.

Amelia stayed the hell out of my way all morning. She was probably the best behaved she ever has been.

I imagine she was thinking "OMG, my mommy has lost her damn mind, I'm staying out of her way!" Or, maybe sobbing uncontrollably does not lend itself to want to cuddle with the crazy lady.

Either way, I was thankful that I could just be my emotional self and had I needed some time to be alone, I could have had it. Today things are back to 'normal', if there even is such a thing, and I'm counting my blessings instead of used tissues.


Dana D said...

Thank god for that instinct they seem to have to lay low till mama gets it back together, right? I've got 3 and unfortunately its harder to synch it up...

Babes Mami said...

It's good for them to see that we are 'real' people too! Whenever Nate sees me cry and knows it's not directly related to his getting timeouts every 10 minutes for five hours, he will hug me and ask me what's wrong. I explain that mommy gets sad sometimes and it's okay to cry.