There's No Place Like Home

The last time I posted, I mentioned that I was getting the hell out of here. While I continue to LOVE my job, I am discovering that the first few weeks of school are insanity. Last week I worked about six to eight hours more than I had to (no, I don't get overtime) and had the persistent feeling that I was drowning. Add to that a husband that has just changed shifts at work, leaving me feeling like I'm a single mom with a grumpy, unavailable roommate, and let's just say that things in our house have been stressful. Even Amelia seems to be impacted, as she has been starting some minor aggressive behavior-- towards Mommy only. Good. Times.

So clearly, life has been challenging lately. I know we will get past it and things will improve. My initial coping mechanism was to escape, so as I said, Amelia and I went on a little getaway a couple weeks ago. We went to a local waterpark/hotel with my friend, Anna, and her daughter, Bela. Amelia adores Bela, and will often follow in her footsteps (for better or worse-- let's just hope Bela doesn't rob a liquor store some day. I guarantee Amelia would be her co-conspirator.) I thought that if Bela enjoyed the water areas, Amelia surely would to.

Nope.

Amelia spent most of the time either sitting in my lap in the shallow end, uninterested in playing with any water toys, crying, or sitting next to Anna on the ledge of the pool. Much like an old lady. It was still fun in that we were able to spend time with good friends, but I wish that Amelia had enjoyed the main reason that we were there rather than having to work up courage to get within feet of the water.

Our lovely ladies, ready to head back home.

Last weekend, we packed up and attempted camping a second time. While it was fun overall and less anxiety producing for Amelia, the campground that we chose did not have nice boundaries like the first time we went camping. This led to a lot of me telling Amelia "No, don't go over there. No, don't get close to the road. Come back here, I can't see you when you are over there." Top that with some rain our first day, which made the majority of our site muddy (did I mention that we also have a large dog to watch and minimize the muddiness of?), and it just was not the grand picture of relaxation that I had painted in my head. As a result, we headed home after two days rather than staying the full three days that we had reserved.

Morning cartoons, camping style.

Molly enjoyed the camper-- please note that is MY bed, she was supposed to be sleeping on the lower section.

My little buckeye fan exploring a playground near the park.

This is not to say that I didn't enjoy the last two weekends, but I definitely have gained an appreciation for relaxing at home, where there are DVR'd cartoons for Amelia and boundaries that she is already familiar with. With working from home, I often think I need to physically get away to diffuse some stress, but clearly there are times where I am more at ease within the confines of our country home.

With that said, I have to say that this has been a nice weekend so far. We have enjoyed spending a lot of time at a local art festival, I made some treats for my husband's police department, and was able to make a nice dinner for him last night before his twelve hour shift. Apparently, all of this down time is making Amelia rather sleepy.

Zonked out at the art festival.

Here's hoping that all of my readers are having an equally relaxing weekend :)

The Great Escape

I don't know what happened to me last weekend, but I was super productive. I cleaned the majority of our house, including the bathroom, kitchen, coffee pot and disgusting area behind the coffee pot, microwave (inside and out), pulled weeds, washed, dried and put away a load of laundry, swept, and wrapped our spare change to put in Amelia's savings account... $37 worth. I also cleaned Amelia's room and then organized the spare room so I can start utilizing it as a craft room/office and complete projects like this more often:

My friend's wedding invitation and program are inside the ornament.

It was terrific that I could get all of this done because on Monday, Amelia started to seem a bit off. Fussy, poor appetite, impatient... something just didn't seem right. By Tuesday, she was throwing her morning milk up on me and sleeping a lot during the day:

We think it was either a little stomach bug or some sinus/allergy issues that were making her nauseous. This lasted all week- the week before students start at the online school I am a 12th grade guidance counselor for. You know what happens when you are a high school guidance counselor the week before classes start? You get several phone calls per day about schedules:

•  Why did you schedule me for this? (You need it to graduate.)
•  Why didn't you ask me what I want to take this year? (You were supposed to complete the scheduling survey in May.) 
• Why am I a junior this year and not a senior? (You keep failing all your classes, we don't just hand out diplomas out, OK?!?)

Did I mention that I had three cavities filled this week too?

Yes. It's been a super week. I have to get the hell out of here. And I am, with these lovely ladies:

Amelia and her BFF Bela at our local county fair.

Let's get this party started...

A Weekend of Lemons Turned to Lemonade

Recently we purchased my parents' camper. Jon and I were very excited about this, especially after they showed us how to pop it up and all of it's features. We used to camp quite a bit before we had Amelia, but tent camping and babyhood does not really mix. Well, except for the folks that I witnessed with a pack and play in their medium sized tent. Brave souls. Anyways, a camper seemed like a perfect solution because it give Amelia a nice place to sleep, it stays drier than a tent, and we can bring Molly along now when we go.

August fifth was our sixth wedding anniversary, so we decided it'd be the perfect time to try the camper out for the first time. I worked all day Friday and then Amelia took a late nap, so Jon and I did too. It was 5:30 when we all woke up, but no worries-- the campground was only 45 minutes away and it wouldn't take long to pack everything up. I threw some clothes in a bag for Amelia and I and gathered the dog food/toys/leash while Jon pulled the camper out of the shed. We were minutes from departing when Jon discovered that the camper brake lights weren't working.

I could go into the fifty things that Jon tried to discover what was wrong but the bottom line is this-- we didn't leave Friday night. It got to be 8:30 p.m. and the lights were still not working, so I finally suggested going out to eat. Jon looked mildly frustrated and annoyed, especially since we had already paid for both nights at the campsite and had already passed the time frame to cancel and have our money refunded. I was rather surprised at my own reaction because in the past, I think I would have been pretty upset. But Amelia had spent an hour playing outside, and since it had been my first week back to work, I was just grateful that I was spending good quality time with her rather than being stuck at my computer.

I also have to give my mom credit for my calm, positive reaction. We've been going on vacation together every summer for the past decade. During that time, we've weathered storms while tent camping, lost the car keys while be six hours from home, and forgotten to pack vital items. Never do I recall my mom getting angry or frustrated about this. We always develop a plan B, and sometimes that ends up being more fun than our original plan.

The following morning Jon was still struggling with the lights and was about to give up. He had ordered a new part but it wouldn't be in for a few days. He was adamant that we go camping anyways, given that our campground was not too far away. It was tempting, but because Amelia was with us, I worried that someone would rear end us. I needn't worry though. We were saved by my migraine.

Yes. A migraine. During the weekend of our anniversary in the midst of trying to get the f*@$ing camping lights to work.

My doctor recently gave me a sample of migraine medicine to try, but I was worried about using it for the first time before we planned to be out of town, especially when we planned on having some drinks around the fire that night. So, Jon directed me to go inside and rest and he'd try one more attempt to get the lights to work. Amelia and I headed to the couch and threw a Disney movie in. We cuddled and relaxed, and alas, my migraine left. And...

Jon got those lights to work. Hallelujah.

With that, we headed to the campground. The camper popped up easily, Amelia and Molly did great staying within the boundaries of our campsite, and we went swimming in the lake. Things were going wonderfully and Jon's frustration had melted (assisted by a few adult beverages). And then?

It started to storm.

Not just any storm either. Not a nice little pop up thunderstorm that us Midwestern folk experience throughout the summer. A hail producing, damaging wind kind of storm. Or so I was texted by my family that was southwest of us. Jon and I nervously watched the radar on his phone (thank you, technology) and miracle of all miracles, the most northern part of the storm eased to mostly thunder and lightening. We laid Amelia down to sleep on one end of the camper and watched the lightening show through the camper windows on the other side. A rather nice way to end the evening, and Amelia slept a good 10.5 hours that night, which is a rare occasion for her.

The next morning? Rain by 8 a.m. We surrendered, drove home in the pouring rain, and went to a brunch buffet for our anniversary. It certainly was not the anniversary weekend that we had planned, but it was truly memorable, and I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

The Luckiest Parents

I know. I've been a complete slacker about posting this month. Never fear, I will be returning to my stay at home job next week and chained to my computer most of my waking hours, so I'm sure I will have plenty to yammer about then.

I have about a bazillion pictures from our adventures so far this summer. We've been to Columbus and Cincinnati so Jon could update his police certification while Amelia and I spend some mommy/daughter time together, went to Lake Michigan with my mom, and down to my grandparents once. For only having one month off this year, as opposed to ten weeks, we sure packed that time with lots of adventures, so be prepared for an upcoming post that is flooded with pic's of my toddler.

Today's post, however, is about something different. We recently switched our insurance coverage to be under my husband's plan. This new provider requires a primary care physician to be listed on your card, but I had one problem-- I don't have one. I've probably gone to the doctor twice in the past decade (not including prenatal care). Although I had a short list of things I needed to speak to a doctor about, I hadn't gone yet, so this was a good push to finally see a physician.

I already had someone in mind to see, so Jon called and made all three of us an appointment as first time patients. Although Amelia has a pediatrician, I had been looking to make a switch since the one doctor that I loved left the practice, and the other doctors had misdiagnosed her hand, foot, and mouth disease this past spring as scabies. As far as I'm concerned, if I can google symptoms to self-diagnose but you can't see my daughter in person and figure it out, you're pretty much fired.

In any case, I was pretty apprehensive about this appointment. Jon had gone earlier in the week and simply shrugged when I had asked how it went. Men. I was hoping that he would rave about her, but instead he said "It was OK. She's young." CRAP. I just picked a female Doogie Howser for our family physician. On top of that, I'm terribly choosy about doctors. I feel this way-- you're being paid a lot of money to do your job. So, if you talk over me, are rude, perpetually late, or rush me through my appointment, I won't be back. Period.

Of course, switching doctors can be a huge pain in the butt. I was smart enough to ask Jon to bring home the new patient paperwork for Amelia and I so I didn't have to sit in the waiting room filling out fifty pages of health history and insurance information while keeping a toddler amused. Good thing that I did because it seemed to take me forever to complete those packets. Mine was not too terrible but hers was five pages of ridiculousness that seemed to be designed to make me feel like the worst mother ever. Here were some of the questions:

• Is your water heater set to 125 degrees or less? How do I even check that??
• Do you have the number posted for poison control? Isn't that what the internet is for?
• Are your electrical outlets covered with safety plugs? Yes. They were. Until my toddler figured out how to pull them out in an attempt to jam my keys in the outlet. How else is she supposed to learn how to drive???
• Do you have Ipecac in your house? Um... can't I just feed her a vegetable she doesn't like to induce vomiting?
• Does your child take a fluoride supplement or drink fluoride treated water? No. My hillbilly teeth are a legacy that I plan to hand down to my child.

 After those questions came the asking me how many meals and snacks she eats every day, followed by asking me to break that down into servings of bread, meat/beans, dairy, yellow vegetables, green vegetables, and fruit/fruit juice. I sat there trying to determine what category goldfish crackers went under and if I get extra mommy points for my child sucking down water like a camel.

That was followed by about thirty questions related to Amelia's health history. Has she been hospitalized? Eye problems? Ear infections? Cancer? Genetic disorders? All I could really put down was respiratory problems once a winter and a spot of eczema that we haven't seen since this past spring.

And that's when it hit me. We are very lucky parents.

I have friends who have lost their pregnancies and friends whose children didn't make it to their first birthday. I really can't imagine their pain and loss, but I assume that it would be practically unbearable. It's easy to get wrapped up in the daily annoyances of parenting. Whiny toddlers, dirty diapers, no time to yourself, and carting kids around to errands that would be ten times easier if they were at home with a babysitter. What kind of smiles and laughter would we miss out on if they weren't in our lives though? These are the things I thought of as I completed that mess of paperwork. And then, I smiled for the rest of the day.

Amelia makes me a very happy and blessed mama. Every day.

Wish Upon a Star

When I was in high school, I used to wish upon a star to marry my husband, Jon. Every shooting star I saw, I hoped he would ask me to marry him. Once, in a state of hormone-filled loved, I asked him to marry me.

He looked like I had asked him to cut off his left foot with a rusty saw. So I kept on wishing.

Two engagements and eight years later, we did get married. So no more wishing on stars, right?

Wrong.

Two years later, we tried to conceive our first child. Unfortunately, my body was a mess from taking hormonal birth control, and trying to get all of that junk out of my system was quite a challenge. After being so responsible during my early adult years, not getting pregnant and earning my bachelor's degree, then my master's degree, it felt like I deserved to get pregnant quickly.

I love children and I wanted to be a mommy in the worst way. I distinctly recall going to our local bakery one Saturday morning several months after we started trying to conceive. There was a mom there with her four year old son. She ordered coffee and a pastry and told her son to pick what he wanted. He chose a gigantic mint brownie and chocolate milk, as she smiled in a way that said that this was OK with her because it was a special morning. I looked on, wistfully, knowing that these were the moments that I ached for.

And then I cried all the way home and stuffed myself full of doughnuts.

That summer, there seemed to be many meteor showers. Jon and I would hear them announce one on the news and we would wait all day to spend the evening on a blanket, under the stars, pointing out the ones that streaked by to each other. Perfect moments to wish for my baby.

Nine months later, after we had tried for 15 months and I had started giving up hope that we would conceive naturally, I found out that I was pregnant.

Just like marriage, the beginning of motherhood was not easy. But, when I take Amelia out for lunch and she leans over to kiss me and pats my arm while saying "Aww!!", I remember that moment in the bakery and realize that my special memories of motherhood are being made, right now.

At that point, what was there left to wish for?

A job. For my husband.

My entire pregnancy, Jon attended the police academy at our local community college. He had already been in the Marine Reserves for six years and earned his bachelor's degree. During the police academy and the first two trimesters of pregnancy, he worked from 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., then would attend the academy from 5:00 to 10:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. No joke. In some ways, it was the perfect time for me to be pregnant, since Jon got to skip witnessing some of my hormonal swings and I could sleep my little exhausted heart out. And, with a baby on the way, the extra income that a police officer's salary would bring was welcome.

That only took 1.5 years of wishing on stars to accomplish. But it finally did happen.

Last week, on a nice evening after Amelia went to bed, Jon started a bonfire and we sat together, fingers intertwined while we gazed at both the fire's flames and the sky's stars. That's when it happened. I saw a shooting star.

And I had nothing to wish for.

That's not to say that my life is perfect. No one's is. Nor do I believe that all this wishing I do has resulted in our good fortune. I believe that prayer and spirituality, along with a strong marriage, have carried us through the past few years. It still does now, every day. When Jon is stressed over his new, much more stressful and demanding job, it does not seem like a charmed life. But, during that moment by the fire, I realized how much I have, and how very grateful I am.

Wishes do come true.

A Little Break

I have been extremely busy at work lately. This has led to a lack of posting, exercising, and sanity. Although I am supposed to be on vacation, I still have schedules to enter for students and so, I continue to work. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so Amelia and I went to Cincinnati last week with Jon while he took a class to update his police certification.

It. Was. Awesome.

Amelia and I woke up on Thursday and Friday, took her daddy to his class, went back to the hotel, and had a little breakfast. Then we got cleaned up, went shopping, headed down to Cincinnati (we were actually just north of there for Jon's class), had lunch on the river, then went to the children's museum on Thursday and the Newport Aquarium on Friday. Amelia was awesome the entire time and I was so happy to be off the computer and spend uninterrupted quality time with my little girl.

Pictures to come, stay tuned!

The First Night Away

It's probably no surprise to everyone that I survived my first night away from my little girl. Really, it was not too terrible. Once I got over being misty eyed in the morning as I departed, and a few real tears as I went to bed that night, I remained upbeat and enjoyed my time away.

But do you know who struggled?

Her daddy.

The truth? I'm a little glad.

Since my husband neglects to read my posts recently, and I found this to be the most unexpected part about my time away, I just have to share.

You know that means this will be the first time he's read my blog in three months, but oh, well.

The daytime was fine. We texted each other and I tried to call during my breaks at the conference in attempts to be able to talk to Amelia. Of course, she was snoozing each time I called. Then when I reached my hotel room that evening, I called Jon and we had a nice conversation where he reassured me that all was well and I should enjoy my time away. So with that, I headed out for the night ready to have fun.

Jon called me again around 7:30 p.m., but of course, I didn't hear my phone ring being that we were dining at Dave & Buster's. I texted that I was eating and would call him later. When I called at 10:30, he was less than happy. At first, I was slightly annoyed that he had ordered me to have a great time but was frustrated that I wasn't answering my phone. However, the truth is my husband was not mad at me, he was nervous and worried. When I thought back to how many times I've felt that way when I've left Amelia with other caregivers, I couldn't help but to feel sympathetic.

With that in mind, I took a deep breath, told him all would be fine and was sorry that I hadn't answered my phone, and ordered him to drink a beer and relax. My friend informed me that Amelia stirred and whined a few times during the night, but all she had to do was roll over and rub her tummy (yes, my friend is a co-sleeper too, how convenient for Amelia!) and she was passed out again. They played in the pool during the day, and I was one happy mama to see my little girl in the evening. Clearly Amelia wasn't too miserable while I was gone though:

This is great news because I will be gone again later this week to go to a concert. This time Daddy will be in charge overnight so that should be an interesting adventure for him. Everyone cross your fingers that Miss Amelia sleeps in her crib all night!