The Luckiest Parents

I know. I've been a complete slacker about posting this month. Never fear, I will be returning to my stay at home job next week and chained to my computer most of my waking hours, so I'm sure I will have plenty to yammer about then.

I have about a bazillion pictures from our adventures so far this summer. We've been to Columbus and Cincinnati so Jon could update his police certification while Amelia and I spend some mommy/daughter time together, went to Lake Michigan with my mom, and down to my grandparents once. For only having one month off this year, as opposed to ten weeks, we sure packed that time with lots of adventures, so be prepared for an upcoming post that is flooded with pic's of my toddler.

Today's post, however, is about something different. We recently switched our insurance coverage to be under my husband's plan. This new provider requires a primary care physician to be listed on your card, but I had one problem-- I don't have one. I've probably gone to the doctor twice in the past decade (not including prenatal care). Although I had a short list of things I needed to speak to a doctor about, I hadn't gone yet, so this was a good push to finally see a physician.

I already had someone in mind to see, so Jon called and made all three of us an appointment as first time patients. Although Amelia has a pediatrician, I had been looking to make a switch since the one doctor that I loved left the practice, and the other doctors had misdiagnosed her hand, foot, and mouth disease this past spring as scabies. As far as I'm concerned, if I can google symptoms to self-diagnose but you can't see my daughter in person and figure it out, you're pretty much fired.

In any case, I was pretty apprehensive about this appointment. Jon had gone earlier in the week and simply shrugged when I had asked how it went. Men. I was hoping that he would rave about her, but instead he said "It was OK. She's young." CRAP. I just picked a female Doogie Howser for our family physician. On top of that, I'm terribly choosy about doctors. I feel this way-- you're being paid a lot of money to do your job. So, if you talk over me, are rude, perpetually late, or rush me through my appointment, I won't be back. Period.

Of course, switching doctors can be a huge pain in the butt. I was smart enough to ask Jon to bring home the new patient paperwork for Amelia and I so I didn't have to sit in the waiting room filling out fifty pages of health history and insurance information while keeping a toddler amused. Good thing that I did because it seemed to take me forever to complete those packets. Mine was not too terrible but hers was five pages of ridiculousness that seemed to be designed to make me feel like the worst mother ever. Here were some of the questions:

• Is your water heater set to 125 degrees or less? How do I even check that??
• Do you have the number posted for poison control? Isn't that what the internet is for?
• Are your electrical outlets covered with safety plugs? Yes. They were. Until my toddler figured out how to pull them out in an attempt to jam my keys in the outlet. How else is she supposed to learn how to drive???
• Do you have Ipecac in your house? Um... can't I just feed her a vegetable she doesn't like to induce vomiting?
• Does your child take a fluoride supplement or drink fluoride treated water? No. My hillbilly teeth are a legacy that I plan to hand down to my child.

 After those questions came the asking me how many meals and snacks she eats every day, followed by asking me to break that down into servings of bread, meat/beans, dairy, yellow vegetables, green vegetables, and fruit/fruit juice. I sat there trying to determine what category goldfish crackers went under and if I get extra mommy points for my child sucking down water like a camel.

That was followed by about thirty questions related to Amelia's health history. Has she been hospitalized? Eye problems? Ear infections? Cancer? Genetic disorders? All I could really put down was respiratory problems once a winter and a spot of eczema that we haven't seen since this past spring.

And that's when it hit me. We are very lucky parents.

I have friends who have lost their pregnancies and friends whose children didn't make it to their first birthday. I really can't imagine their pain and loss, but I assume that it would be practically unbearable. It's easy to get wrapped up in the daily annoyances of parenting. Whiny toddlers, dirty diapers, no time to yourself, and carting kids around to errands that would be ten times easier if they were at home with a babysitter. What kind of smiles and laughter would we miss out on if they weren't in our lives though? These are the things I thought of as I completed that mess of paperwork. And then, I smiled for the rest of the day.

Amelia makes me a very happy and blessed mama. Every day.

Wish Upon a Star

When I was in high school, I used to wish upon a star to marry my husband, Jon. Every shooting star I saw, I hoped he would ask me to marry him. Once, in a state of hormone-filled loved, I asked him to marry me.

He looked like I had asked him to cut off his left foot with a rusty saw. So I kept on wishing.

Two engagements and eight years later, we did get married. So no more wishing on stars, right?

Wrong.

Two years later, we tried to conceive our first child. Unfortunately, my body was a mess from taking hormonal birth control, and trying to get all of that junk out of my system was quite a challenge. After being so responsible during my early adult years, not getting pregnant and earning my bachelor's degree, then my master's degree, it felt like I deserved to get pregnant quickly.

I love children and I wanted to be a mommy in the worst way. I distinctly recall going to our local bakery one Saturday morning several months after we started trying to conceive. There was a mom there with her four year old son. She ordered coffee and a pastry and told her son to pick what he wanted. He chose a gigantic mint brownie and chocolate milk, as she smiled in a way that said that this was OK with her because it was a special morning. I looked on, wistfully, knowing that these were the moments that I ached for.

And then I cried all the way home and stuffed myself full of doughnuts.

That summer, there seemed to be many meteor showers. Jon and I would hear them announce one on the news and we would wait all day to spend the evening on a blanket, under the stars, pointing out the ones that streaked by to each other. Perfect moments to wish for my baby.

Nine months later, after we had tried for 15 months and I had started giving up hope that we would conceive naturally, I found out that I was pregnant.

Just like marriage, the beginning of motherhood was not easy. But, when I take Amelia out for lunch and she leans over to kiss me and pats my arm while saying "Aww!!", I remember that moment in the bakery and realize that my special memories of motherhood are being made, right now.

At that point, what was there left to wish for?

A job. For my husband.

My entire pregnancy, Jon attended the police academy at our local community college. He had already been in the Marine Reserves for six years and earned his bachelor's degree. During the police academy and the first two trimesters of pregnancy, he worked from 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., then would attend the academy from 5:00 to 10:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. No joke. In some ways, it was the perfect time for me to be pregnant, since Jon got to skip witnessing some of my hormonal swings and I could sleep my little exhausted heart out. And, with a baby on the way, the extra income that a police officer's salary would bring was welcome.

That only took 1.5 years of wishing on stars to accomplish. But it finally did happen.

Last week, on a nice evening after Amelia went to bed, Jon started a bonfire and we sat together, fingers intertwined while we gazed at both the fire's flames and the sky's stars. That's when it happened. I saw a shooting star.

And I had nothing to wish for.

That's not to say that my life is perfect. No one's is. Nor do I believe that all this wishing I do has resulted in our good fortune. I believe that prayer and spirituality, along with a strong marriage, have carried us through the past few years. It still does now, every day. When Jon is stressed over his new, much more stressful and demanding job, it does not seem like a charmed life. But, during that moment by the fire, I realized how much I have, and how very grateful I am.

Wishes do come true.

A Little Break

I have been extremely busy at work lately. This has led to a lack of posting, exercising, and sanity. Although I am supposed to be on vacation, I still have schedules to enter for students and so, I continue to work. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so Amelia and I went to Cincinnati last week with Jon while he took a class to update his police certification.

It. Was. Awesome.

Amelia and I woke up on Thursday and Friday, took her daddy to his class, went back to the hotel, and had a little breakfast. Then we got cleaned up, went shopping, headed down to Cincinnati (we were actually just north of there for Jon's class), had lunch on the river, then went to the children's museum on Thursday and the Newport Aquarium on Friday. Amelia was awesome the entire time and I was so happy to be off the computer and spend uninterrupted quality time with my little girl.

Pictures to come, stay tuned!

The First Night Away

It's probably no surprise to everyone that I survived my first night away from my little girl. Really, it was not too terrible. Once I got over being misty eyed in the morning as I departed, and a few real tears as I went to bed that night, I remained upbeat and enjoyed my time away.

But do you know who struggled?

Her daddy.

The truth? I'm a little glad.

Since my husband neglects to read my posts recently, and I found this to be the most unexpected part about my time away, I just have to share.

You know that means this will be the first time he's read my blog in three months, but oh, well.

The daytime was fine. We texted each other and I tried to call during my breaks at the conference in attempts to be able to talk to Amelia. Of course, she was snoozing each time I called. Then when I reached my hotel room that evening, I called Jon and we had a nice conversation where he reassured me that all was well and I should enjoy my time away. So with that, I headed out for the night ready to have fun.

Jon called me again around 7:30 p.m., but of course, I didn't hear my phone ring being that we were dining at Dave & Buster's. I texted that I was eating and would call him later. When I called at 10:30, he was less than happy. At first, I was slightly annoyed that he had ordered me to have a great time but was frustrated that I wasn't answering my phone. However, the truth is my husband was not mad at me, he was nervous and worried. When I thought back to how many times I've felt that way when I've left Amelia with other caregivers, I couldn't help but to feel sympathetic.

With that in mind, I took a deep breath, told him all would be fine and was sorry that I hadn't answered my phone, and ordered him to drink a beer and relax. My friend informed me that Amelia stirred and whined a few times during the night, but all she had to do was roll over and rub her tummy (yes, my friend is a co-sleeper too, how convenient for Amelia!) and she was passed out again. They played in the pool during the day, and I was one happy mama to see my little girl in the evening. Clearly Amelia wasn't too miserable while I was gone though:

This is great news because I will be gone again later this week to go to a concert. This time Daddy will be in charge overnight so that should be an interesting adventure for him. Everyone cross your fingers that Miss Amelia sleeps in her crib all night!

Seperation Anxiety

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. this morning.

FOUR. A.M.

Not because Amelia woke me up. Not because the dog had to go out. Not because some moron was squealing his tires outside of our house.

Because I'm leaving her. All night. Tonight. For the first time ever in 19.5 months.

Part of me is a bit excited. Part of is nervous. The other 75% wants to vomit all over the place.

It's hard to pinpoint my anxiety over this event. I've lined up her care, the friend she is staying with knows her inside and out and has a lot of the same caregiving philosophies that I do, and she is getting daddy time all day today. I've arranged for someone to let our dog out while Jon is at work, repeated to him five hundred times to bring enough diapers to my friend's house and to text me if he has questions.

And still. I can't sleep.

What is it about being away from our babies overnight for the first time? I told my husband yesterday evening that I know part of it is that I know how my brain works versus his. I am the manager of our household. I work from home, I care for the animals, I am the primary parent the majority of the time. Every whine that escapes our toddler's mouth has a purpose, and I know what she needs 99.5% (or more) of the time.  I can calculate in a split second when the last time she ate was, if she wants water, or if it's about time for a diaper change. If an impending molar is the culprit, I know. If she could have used an extra hour of sleep the night before, I'm aware of how that will impact her naptime within a half hour.

With all that said, I know that my husband and my friend will know what Amelia needs. It will just take maybe a few minutes more than it would take me. So, it's totally fine. She will enjoy her daddy time, her slumber party, and her playtime with her toddler friend tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I will be driving with the car radio blasting, eating meals without cutting food up into teeny tiny pieces and wiping strawberry juice off a toddler chin, and enjoying a bed ALL TO MYSELF without having to tend to middle of the night cries or being jabbed in the ribs.

Whether I actually can sleep in that bed is another matter.

My Little Dinosaur

It's been over a week since I've posted last. I've been trying to formulate a cohesive theme this morning for a posting, and really, it's been a bit of a struggle. I'm frantically wrapping up a school year at the virtual school I work for, Jon has his new police job, and life just feels like a big blur. I had hoped that this weekend would be a time to relax, but instead it's been no different than the work week-- stress filled and hectic.

Rather than go on and on about how overwhelmed I'm feeling, I will share a humorous story about my sweet little peanut. She is going through the toddler phase of pretending to be various animals. Her favorite to be is a dinosaur. All I have to say is "Amelia, what does a dinosaur say?" To this, she replies "ROAR!!!!" It. Is. Hysterical. After we went to lunch Thursday with her papa for his birthday, we went shopping. She barked like a dog all through the store, and then when we got to the check out, the cashiers tried to talk to her, but she suddenly became bashful. In an attempt to get her to come out of her shell, I asked her to talk like a dinosaur, and she let out her characteristic loud roar. The check-out employees got a huge laugh out of it, and Amelia grinned proudly.

My daughter is so into these prehistoric creatures that it would appear that she is even dreaming of them. Yesterday we went for a walk before the heat of the day hit. I thought she has snoozing in her stroller, but suddenly I heard a sweet, softly spoken "Roar!" I laughed a bit, stopped the stroller, and peaked around the side to smile at my munchkin... she was out cold!

Oh, my silly little girl. She makes me smile when I get too busy to remember that life should be all about laughter and dinosaur sounds.

The Shortest Week Ever

I've been meaning to write this post all week. Where in the world did the last week of May go? I think that last weekend was probably the shortest 'long' weekend ever and this short work week went by in the blink of an eye.

Last weekend we were busy, busy, busy! We went to my friend's wedding. Isn't she beautiful? It's maybe the first wedding I've ever gotten misty eyed at:

Amelia was pretty good during the ceremony and really enjoyed the bubbles that were used to greet the newly wed couple:

We attended the reception, which I was concerned might be a tad tricky, considering that our babysitter for the evening had to cancel. Ever the creative mom, I changed into workout gear, put Amelia in the jogging stroller, and we took the dog for a walk between the ceremony and reception. Worked like a charm! Amelia took a good 30-40 minute snooze and we were at the reception from 6:00 to 11:00 p.m. My little party girl never cried or whined once!

I had no plans for Sunday except to clean the house for the birthday party we were hosting for my husband and father on Memorial Day. I did go to church to help my cousin with Mr. Max while she taught Sunday school. I had baby cuddles all to myself for over an hour, which was good because I had little opportunity to steal him away from his grandmothers during the party the next day.

Tuesday brought a short work week and the opportunity to babysit Miss Bela, pictured below with Amelia. Isn't she adorable??? I have a lot of cute little ones in my life! She is the daughter of the lovely married couple above, and her mom, Anna, watches Amelia all the time. For work meetings, appointments, dates, she is always there for us and loves Amelia like she is her own daughter. Therefore, I insisted that she let me watch Bela for the evening so her and her new husband could have a date night. We had a lot of fun, as evidenced by the cheesy grins you see.

Then Wednesday we picked up our first bag of CSA veggies. I was happy to see that our local farmer's market has expanded this year. Amelia and I didn't have time to stroll around because I was late to meet a friend for dinner; however, I couldn't resist waiting in line for fresh strawberries from a local farm. This was our CSA bag before I unloaded it:

Below is after! (the berries weren't included but they were so beautiful that I couldn't resist putting them in the picture):

 We paid our entire CSA payment in the spring, but if you divide it up, each week of vegetables cost $16. For that price, we got a head of lettuce, spinach, green onions, radishes, bok choy, asparagus, snap peas, broccoli and a cucumber! It's all organic and so fresh that it still had dirt from the fields on it. Last night to celebrate my husband's first day of his new job, I made a pasta dish that included broccoli, spinach, green onions, and asparagus. My husband noted that it's the first time he's ever had spinach that actually tastes like spinach! I can't wait to see what's in our bag next week :)

To end for today, I couldn't resist an adorable naptime pic of my little peanut. She is still doing terrific in her crib. It's been 2.5 weeks since we've been laying her down there for naps and bedtime, and she's been sleeping all night for about the past week. Last night was a bit rough when she woke up at 4 a.m. screaming and crying, but I'm pretty sure the next molar is working it's way through. Who can sleep peacefully when you have a sharp object pushing through your gums anyways? Here's hoping she will sleep well tonight because I sure could use the extra rest!