First Cold of the Season

On my morning walk yesterday, I had thought of all these fabulous topics for blog posts. Working on being more positive. My reflections on being unemployed in an awful economy. The cute little lion pillow I made recently. Etcetera. I was looking forward to writing a new post this morning and choosing which idea I was most interested in writing about.

All these ideas were trumped by snot.

Amelia is officially sick. I have to be honest, I'm mildly pissed about it. Not at her, mind you. Just in general. Last winter, she was sick every month. I blamed this on all the germs I was bringing home from the school I worked in. So when I lost my job, I thought, well at least Amelia and I will be healthier this year. Obviously this is not the case.

I suppose if I were to stay home all the time or frantically wipe off everything she touches with bleach wipes, we may have avoided this. I just can't do it though. Staying home all the time with a baby will drive me absolutely insane, and a clean freak I am not. And so here we are, battling the germs.

Generally, it has not been too bad yet. This just started yesterday and it's mostly a runny nose/congestion. I let her nurse a lot, and she slept on my lap last night for two hours when it became apparent that she was too uncomfortable to take a good restful nap in her crib. I gave her a nice warm bath, she ate a decent dinner, we said screw it to the evening routine and let her watch Lady and the Tramp. She was asleep by 10:00 and I laid her in our bed to ensure better than usual sleep. Allegedly, for both of us.

Nope. Worst. Sleep. Ever.

She awoke and stayed awake at 3:00 a.m., but this has been happening a fair amount lately due to her teething, so I sighed to myself and reminded myself that she isn't feeling good. I tried to let her nurse, but she about suffocated between being plugged up and not being able to breathe through her mouth. I was Miss Patient Mommy till 4:30 a.m. when I surrounded her with pillows so I could go into the kitchen and cry with exhaustion, which led to a headache.

Jon woke and attempted to help, but that just made me feel guilty, as he has to drive all day at his job. I took her back to bed with me and finally, finally, sweet sleep came at 5:15. Then she was up at 6:30. And again for good at 7:40.

Now she has been sleeping peacefully on my lap for at least an hour, and while I know I should be sleeping too, it was way too tempting to have a decent chunk of baby free time. Maybe I can sleep at the dentist's office today during my cleaning. You think I'm joking, but I'm not.

**A positive side note: She did reward me for my sleepless nights last night with this-- as she crawled under our coffee table to get to me as we watched our Disney movie, I heard these sweet babblings: MAMAMAMA! Jon and I looked at each other with huge smiles and a slight look of disbelief. She has been saying Da Da for months, presumably because it is easier to utter than Mama. She is definitely a Mama's girl and though I know someday I will wish she would stop saying my name to get my attention, I have been dying to hear those words. And now I have <3

Like Clockwork

Things in the Bryant household continue to be a pain in the ass hectic in the baby department. Amelia's second bottom tooth has popped through, her thrush has cleared up, and she is good to go in the pooping department. Despite this, her already not so good sleep habits continue to be not so great. Prior to going on vacation she was sleeping 3-5 hours in her crib at night then sleeping with me for the rest of the night. Now? Fourty five minutes before she cries for the first time. This weekend she also insisted upon waking at 5:00 and 5:30. When she made it this morning till 6:00, I was pretty darned happy. If I had the choice, though, I would take the waking early over the being up for an hour at 3:00 a.m., which has occurred about three times in the last couple weeks. Talk about a rough night.

Before vacation, she was taking 1-2 hour naps in the afternoon. Now, thirty minutes, although when they are shorter, she does take about three or four naps. The trouble with shorter naps is that she  is a little grumpy butt when she wakes. When you add that to a mommy that has not had good sleep and a little girl that has become so tied to her mama that she screams whenever she can't see her, it can be an equation for disaster.

I've generally avoided discussing Amelia's sleep history, how we handle her sleep patterns, or the reasons for my decision to co-sleep part time. This is mostly because I don't care to hear other people's advice or their admonishments about how I am further screwing her up by letting her sleep with me. But I'm not going to lie, I definitely have my moments where I doubt our decision to let her nurse to sleep and co-sleep. That is, until she starts screaming at midnight and practically turns purple by the time we get upstairs. Then, I remember that we have to do what's best for Amelia, and I'm pretty sure that letting her cut off her own oxygen supply is not super healthy.

I do have the dream that someday, like maybe when she's 12, she will actually go to sleep on her own or someone else will be able to put her to bed other than me. With that in mind, I decided to put her on a bedtime routine. At 10 months old.

That's right, I'm the irresponsible mommy that has been letting her little girl go to bed whenever she wants. During the first few months with a newborn, life is all about survival. I had sworn that by three months, she would be on a schedule. For various reasons, it didn't happen. Surely, though, by summer she would be on a good, solid nighttime routine.

Nope.

I've been so thrilled this summer that she has been fairly easy going-- at least until recently-- that I started doing all the things with her that I couldn't do or didn't have time for when she was fussy and I was working. Bonfires with friends, baseball games, vacations-- all things that would mess with a schedule if one was in place. And, due to her melt downs when she is separated from me, along with her refusal to sleep for anyone else, a babysitter is not a very good option. Of course, she would survive without me in the evening, but that person would probably never be willing to watch her again and I would worry about her the whole time we were gone. So, she's been on lots of adventures this summer.

Now that school is in, people are busy and things are settling down, so here we are in a nice evening routine. I like it to a certain degree. Giving her a bath every evening, as opposed to me giving her random baths whenever I could remember and notice grime around her neck, is a nice way to end the evening together because she enjoys it. She is also going to bed every night by 9:00, which is better than 10:00 or 11:00. The downside is, it's not helping her sleep more soundly, and for her, early to bed means early to rise. People who recommend earlier bedtimes for baby sleep to improve need to spend a week with the my little contradiction to every sleep theory that ever existed.

And so, the sleep battle continues, but at least I know when each battle is going to occur.

Pre-toddlerhood

You've probably never heard the term "pre-toddlerhood", but frankly, I don't know why it's not a distinctly noted stage of childhood development. I would define this as the time when babies are not truly toddlers yet, but are getting that annoying independent streak to them. I am pretty sure I am twice as screwed. Amelia has always strived to be a little bit more independent than most babies and has been shaking her head 'no' for months now. Last week, I was reading some moron's lady's comment that parents who ascribe to attachment theory and co-sleep with their babies are setting themselves up for needy, dependent children (wait, aren't they still supposed to be dependent? Should Amelia be doing her own laundry yet?) who can't do anything for themselves. I literally laughed out loud and coffee almost came out of my nose. Clearly, she needs to meet my daughter.

For example, during the past week, my daughter has decided she is not so thrilled with baby food anymore. I should point out, she doesn't even get jarred food. I make all her food, it's like a gourmet baby grocery store in my freezer right now. Yet, given the choice between what's on my plate and what's in her bowl, she'd prefer my pasta with feta. That's right-- feta cheese. Pureed green beans? Eh, she is not so thrilled, despite the fact that she enjoyed them a month ago. So basically, I have a nine month old who won't eat baby food and won't take a bottle.

And then there's the determination. She has discovered the dime sized hole in our couch within the last couple days. Now, I am a big believer in the beauty of distraction with kids. Redirection can definitely be a sanity saver for mommies. So, when she found that hole, I tried to show her a toy and then put my hand over the couch's blemish. I was hoping that she'd forget about how fun it is to stick her fingers in there and dig around in the cushion stuffing. Instead, she wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow while grasping my fingers and grunting with effort. SIGH.

When you top this independence and determination with her bodily issues this week-- cutting a new tooth, thrush for the FOURTH TIME, and being mildly constipated-- you have one fussy little girl. It has been a challenging week for sure. Thankfully, her tooth is almost all the way through, we have medicine for her thrush, and she is pooping again, so hopefully things will be looking up for the weekend.

Here she is with plums all over. Her favorite thing to do when she doesn't like her food is to smear it all over her face and in her hair. Lovely.

Finally, a Food Post

Recently, I added a little detail to my blog by adding this description "Health, food, and the rollercoaster of mommyhood". The problem with this is I realized I really don't talk about food much. It's not because I don't cook. I LOVE to cook. I remember when Amelia had colic and I was stuck holding her all day, I was literally depressed when we would watch cooking shows because I wasn't able to do it anymore.

Things with a nine month old are a bit easier and I get to make dinner much more often. However, documenting it for my blog is a struggle. It seems like whenever I'm just about done making our meal and reaching for my camera, she is starting to get bored and whine. Or, stories about my race training and her development seem to push my food posts off to the side.

With that in mind, today I will post what I made for dinner one day last week. And, somehow I will figure out a way to do this regularly. Maybe something tacky sounding like Food Fridays. In any case, we had linguine with red peppers, mushrooms, and artichoke hearts. My most used source for cooking inspiration is www.allrecipes.com, but I would say my second most used source is 1,001 Low-Fat Vegetarian Recipes: Delicious, Easy-to-Make, Healthy Meals for Everyone. We are not a vegetarian family, but I would say that we eat vegetarian meals about 25% of the time. It is generally less expensive than meals with meat and I enjoy cooking with fresh vegetables, especially in the summer. My husband is great about it and often raves just as much about our vegetarian meals as he does all our other dinners.

I got the basics for this dish from the above cited vegetarian cookbook. I didn't really follow it exactly, just glanced at the ingredient list and whipped it up. Here it is, the best that I can put it into words:

1 jar roasted red peppers
8-12 oz fresh mushrooms (I used portabella, you can use whichever type you prefer)
1 can quartered artichoke hearts
1 tablespoon fresh minced garlic
salt and pepper to taste
a dash or two crushed red pepper flakes
a couple tablespoons olive oil
1 package linguine
feta cheese

Spray a medium sized frying pan with cooking spray or use a little olive oil. Saute mushrooms over medium heat in the frying pan until almost cooked through, then add chopped roasted red peppers, garlic, and artichoke hearts. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper (I put crushed red pepper in almost all our pasta dishes, Jon likes spicy dishes, and I think the red pepper has a nice amount of heat without going overboard). Heat through until garlic is sauteed. In a separate pot, heat water to boiling for the pasta and cook linguine. After pasta is cooked to al dente, toss it with the cooked veggies and drizzle olive oil over the mixed pasta and veggies. Toss again, taste, add seasoning and more olive oil if needed. Top with feta cheese.

We dish out our own pasta then put as much feta as we each want on our personal servings rather than dumping the whole container of feta into the final pot of pasta and tossing. You could also top with parmesan cheese if you aren't a fan of feta.

I have to add in a picture of the flowers I bought myself at our farmer's market this week:

Guess how much? FOUR DOLLARS. Awesomeness.

Pemberville 5 Miler

I was originally going to title this post "Race Day", but since I envision many races in my future, that title would probably get pretty redundant (big word for writing at 6:45 a.m., eh?)  Being that my stupid ipod mysteriously ran out of battery before the race, despite that fact that I had checked it in the morning when it appeared to be plenty charged, I was able to think about and reflect upon every aspect of this experience. I wish I would have had a way to record what I had thought since now a lot of it is a fabulous blur, but I will do my best to recount my first race.

First, let me reiterate how huge I feel like this is for me. A month ago, my runs were no longer than 2.5 miles. Couple this with being 15-20 lbs overweight (about 10 of that is those last few darned pregnancy pounds) and the fact that I've never run this far even pre-baby, and I will tell you that I did not anticipate this being part of my summer plans. But, I was inspired by my friend who recently ran a half marathon and figured that if I just signed up for it, I would have to make it work.

I was very confident up until about a week ago when we went on vacation. I didn't exercise while we were gone and I pretty much pigged out. When we returned, I just was not that into running. And, it was race week. I knew I just had to squeeze out five miles during one of my runs so I knew that I could do the race without walking. I did on Wednesday, merely two days before the event. The last mile was pure hell but it was what I needed so I didn't make some pathetic excuse to try to get out of going.

Then, last night about two hours before it was time for me to leave, I started getting nervous. What was I thinking? I don't have a runner's physique, and I started fearing that I would stick out like a sore thumb. It was like high school all over again, that sensation where you feel like everyone will stare and laugh at you.


Once I got there and analyzed the crowd, I realized how silly that was but I was still really freaked out... what if I was last? As we were getting ready to start, I felt more and more like I was going to be sick, but I had to shake it off. And, I kept thinking about how I knew I could run five miles... I just did it two days ago! I'm so glad that I did too, because that thought carried me through a lot of the difficult moments of the run.

I think that my favorite part of the event was how many people in the community were sitting in their yards, cheering us on. Several people even set up sprinklers over the road so the runners could cool off, including the local fire department which set up a huge water hose. It was a good thing that the beginning of the course ran through the town because there had been a huge line for the ladies' room (which of course, only had two stalls) and I saw several women running into houses and then running back out giggling, saying "I had to go!" There were water stations at every mile marker, and the county's sheriff, Mark Wasylyshyn (seriously, that's how you spell his name, and no, I have no idea how you pronounce it) handed me one of my cups of water. This is pretty much a celebrity to me, keeping in mind that other celebrities on my list are Father Dominic and Jay Berschback.

The suckiest part of the race? The third mile. At the first two mile markers, my times reflected that my pace was just under 10:30, which is super for me. When I ran that five miles earlier in the week, it had taken me about an hour. I know that focusing on staying ahead of the people that I had already passed and working on passing people ahead of me helped a lot. Not having to push a jogging stroller for once helped too. However, that third mile was through the country, sans shade. Now, the country path that I run down each day also is out in the blazing sun, but I always leave before 11 a.m. when it is a bit cooler out. This is opposed to running at 7 p.m. when it is much hotter out. I really started to fear that I was going to have to walk at some point, and my head started pounding with pain. I intermittently swore to myself and then would tell myself, if I can just finish this mile then I will be more than halfway done, and I will be back in the shade again.

I don't have my mile to mile pace results back yet, but I know that third mile was the slowest. After that, even though my legs and feet were starting to feel like lead, I could focus on running back to town. When I hit the fourth mile marker and was told that I was at 43 minutes, I was utterly shocked. OMG, I can finish this under an hour! And, seeing people that were walking helped, too. Here I was so concerned that I was going to be last, but I ran the whole thing and that is something to be proud of in itself.

I sprinted to the finish and crossed the finish line at 54 minutes even. That's a 10:48 pace!!! I'm sure that to experienced runners, this is nothing, but to me, this is super awesome. I do not aspire to be a fast runner. I have short, stocky legs and competition against others is not my thing. But, doing better than I ever have before makes me wildly proud of myself.

I was shaking with exhaustion and excitement when I finished, and drank about five or six cups of water. Then, I found my friend and her family. Pics were taken, congratulations were said. I was elated on the way home and shared my accomplishment with Jon. I squeezed Amelia and thought about how great it will be for my little girl to grow up seeing her mommy being active, and to maybe run some races with me someday.

Next up is the Susan G. Komen 5K in September, and then I am running a 10k in October. And... I'm pondering a half marathon in April. I need to talk more to my friend about the training involved, and I would have to commit to running throughout the winter, which I'm not big on. I've always switched things up and done step/spin classes when it's cold, and running/rollerblading when it's warm. However, when I think about being able to say that I've ran a half marathon, my pulse quickens a bit with excitement.

I'm not big on quotes, but I read this one recently in an interview done with Allison Sweeney-- "I told my trainer, 'I want my body back!' She was like, 'Why go back? Go forward! Be the best you that you can be today. That might be thinner and more toned than ever.' Any time I doubt myself for whatever reason, whether it's because of my weight, my physique, or my current athletic abilities, I think of that quote. There's only one direction to go, and it's forward.... in all likelihood, with my running shoes on :)

Naughty Little Monkey Update

After my rant earlier this week, I'm sure some of you wonder how much sanity I have left. That's pretty much up for debate on any given day. However, the short answer is, yes, things have improved. The day that I wrote that long complaint about her behavior, she was pretty even keeled all day, and then a nice surprise-- my parents came to babysit for a little bit. I'm guessing that my dad was a little concerned about me doing something drastic after reading my post that day. I think this makes a good, practical point about parenting-- it's always best to ask for help when you need it and to be honest about your feelings. If I had written some BS about how great mommyhood is, would anyone have offered help? No. Oh, and it helps to have awesome parents too ;) [wink, wink, Mom & Dad].

I'm also getting a few new products to help keep Amelia amused. I had originally bought Amelia a Chicco Activity Baby Walker. My friend's son loves his and it was half off at Meijer, so I thought surely this would help. She likes playing with the front of it, but refuses to push it. She gets angry and reaches backwards in a desperate attempt to find my hands so she can walk while using me for balance. So, that was pretty much an epic fail, although my cat likes the side levers. Yep, pretty much a seventeen dollar cat toy.

I had thought about buying a Juppy Baby Walker or some Baby Walking Wings, but was a bit concerned that she would hate them and then I'd have to mess around with returning whatever I bought. However, I posted something on Facebook about wanting recommendations, and a mommy offered to let me borrow some walking wings. I'm picking them up on Sunday and hope they help! Then I decided it was time that we got a wagon for Amelia. I wanted to ask for one for Christmas, but frankly, I'm desperate for additional things to do with her that will keep her fairly immobile. My mom found a Step 2 Wagon at Once Upon a Child-- has cup holders and everything. Amelia will be cruising down our driveway before we know it.

Last night was really nice because she went to bed by 9:30 p.m. (early for her, considering that she is often up till 10 or 11-- no criticism, please) and then she slept in her crib till 3:00 a.m. This is the longest she's done this since we came home from vacation. However, I must have bumped the volume on the monitor and she had been crying a while before I heard her-- she was completely freaking out (um, hence the reason we don't let her cry it out), screaming and acting like someone was hurting her. She calmed down quickly when I picked her up, but by now she was wide awake and stayed that way until 4:15 a.m. UGH. Perhaps I should mention here that I'm running a 5 mile race today. Yep. And, we have plans in the afternoon, so me napping while she does will probably not work out. Sigh.

Thankfully, we are coming up on a weekend, which means I will get some additional help from her daddy. And it's awfully hard to be upset in the morning when you wake up next to this little ham. I call this the Crazy Hair Series:

Naughty Little Monkey

My daughter has been terrorizing me since we returned from vacation. This may be her only way of protesting our reduction of her TV time. At this point, I would be willing to negotiate and let her watch cartoons all day if she'd just stop hanging on me, fussing, whining, screaming, and staying awake so much.

My real suspicion is that she is going through a developmental growth spurt. She would let us help her walk around the house all day if this wouldn't lead to my husband and I being hunched over in pain (and no, she does not like any type of walker. That would be too easy, wouldn't it?). I keep taking deep breaths, praying, and telling myself to be patient. I remind myself that it took us over a year to get pregnant and how badly I wanted a baby. I tell myself it won't last forever. I count down the minutes till her father gets home so I can have a break.

However, my mental tactics are starting to fail me. When Amelia woke this morning after eight short hours of sleep, I ran through a list in my head of people who could maybe take her for a couple hours today, just so I can gather what's left of my sanity. While I'm used to Amelia sleeping less than most babies (she typically only sleeps 9-9.5 hours, 10 hours is super for her), last night she only slept eight hours. This short night of sleep was after she wailed for a half hour last night, refusing to nurse so she'd shut the hell up so she'd calm down. Jon attempted to shout over her wailing so I would know what was going on during the season finale of Master Chef while I circled the dining room table bouncing her and humming. Thirty minutes after laying her down in her crib, she awoke screaming.

Earlier this week when we went to Meijer, more so I could get out of the house and amuse her than any real need for groceries, pretty much every person walking by would point and say "Oh, isn't she CUUTTTEEE????" It was a struggle for me not to ask them if they wanted her.

 So far this morning I've eaten a couple handfuls of pretzel M&M's and she has eaten part of her Mickey Mouse books. Oh, I didn't mention that she seems to have pica? She's like a little goat, munching and gnawing on whatever she gets her hands on. If it's paper, down the hatch it goes. Not even her "baby-safe" books can escape her one little pointy tooth and slobber that would probably eat it's way through steel.

Please don't leave the following comments after reading this post:

• Just wait until she starts walking.
• Just wait until she's a teenager.
• Enjoy her now, time with your baby is short.
• How could you be upset with her, she's just a BAAABY....

These comments will be deleted shortly before I throw my laptop out the window and grab another handful of candy.

Now, excuse me while I suck down another cup of coffee and say my mommy prayer for the day... Dear Lord, please help me be patient and let Amelia take extra long naps. Amen.