Here's the List

I've been pondering since the weekend about what to post this week. While I had almost decided on several grainy cell phone pics of Amelia cuddling with her daddy and sleeping along with a weekend recap, eh, that sounded boring. As Facebook has been flooded with people's daily gratitudes during the month of November, I've decided I should post my own list.

I should add here that although I rarely make a written list of gratitude, I do try to reflect at least once a day on what I'm grateful for. My cousin writes a daily list and e-mails it to several of her friends, and I generally am obsessive about checking my e-mail until she sends it. Partially because it is a way for me to stay connected to her even when both of our lives are very busy, but also because it is a good reminder of the small things in life that help people get past bad days, tragic life happenings, and grumpy moods. As soon as I read it, I think about what I am grateful for, and because she sends it early in the morning, I can start my day feeling grateful and remember to be this way during the day.

For instance, when Little Miss Grumpy Pants will not sleep through her whole nap and I am stuck holding her while I'm trying to work one handed? I take a deep breath and look at her soft features, her slow and peaceful breathing, her pudgy little arms, and realize that I will miss this cuddling some day. What else am I grateful for?

• My daughter is healthy and happy. I really take this for granted until she catches a cold or flu, or until I think of the many people I know that struggle with infertility or have had children that have passed away. She drives me a little nuts some days, but she is a blessing and we are so, so fortunate that she is well.
• I have awesome parents. They do an immense amount for us, from providing Amelia with clothes, diapers, and toys, to babysitting and listening to me gripe when I feel like I being pushed over the edge by motherhood. They are terrific, loving grandparents and let me know often that they are here for me anytime.
• I have a wonderful marriage. It is not always easy, and we go through our up's and down's like any other couple. I have really been reflecting lately how good of a husband and father my spouse is. He is kind and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman alive. He appreciates my cooking and ability to do 50 things at once to keep our home up and raise our child. He apologizes when he's wrong, and he tells me I'm a good mom frequently. Watching him cuddle or tickle Amelia melts my heart and I'm so grateful that we are raising our daughter together.
• The rest of my family is awesome too! It would take me all day to go through each and every one, but trust me, I'm blessed with a great family. When people complain that they have to deal with family gatherings during the holidays, I have no idea what they are talking about. I look forward to stuffing myself and then laughing around the table after a good meal.
• Employment. I think this is a huge thing that I took for granted a year ago, and I really try to be thankful for it every day. Luckily, so far my job is making this easy. I had a few qualms about working for an online school, but it's only taken me a couple months to be amazed at the teamwork and positive attitudes that I witness every day.

• Wonderful pets. I know, some people are not into animals, that's fine. But we are, and we pretty much have the best ever. As our daughter has been edging on abusive towards Mikey (our 8 year old 13 pound cat) and Molly (our sweet, obedient 3 year old golden retriever), I'm reminded every day that we are lucky to have them. I don't have to worry about Amelia being hurt by one of them, and she is growing up knowing how to be kind to animals.
• All the other standards to be thankful for: a warm house, food on the table, clean water, a safe area to live, transportation. I list it off like it's nothing, but all it takes is turning on the news to be extremely grateful for any of these things.

I really could go on and on. I've been thinking of tons of 'small' things to be grateful for every day. However, I have onion rolls to start baking and a daughter to play with. So, I leave you with a picture of three of my loves and a wish for you to have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with gratitude.

The Numbers

Today is November 7th, and what I call my secondary anniversary. Fourteen years ago I sat in my parents driveway in Jon's black Dodge pick-up truck as we debated if we should 'go out' with each other. You know, like, be boyfriend and girlfriend and stuff. Fourteen years seems like a crazy long time when you put into perspective that I'm 30 years old. That's half my life, people. Not to say that it's been one seamless relationship without any breaks, but mostly, we've been a couple since high school.

All day I've thought about what kind of mushy things I could write about our relationship, but blah, isn't that boring? Then this afternoon I just could not stop thinking about fourteen years and how many events, emotions, celebrations, and upsets that includes. So here are the numbers...

In fourteen years, we've:

Been engaged twice

Married once

Shared one apartment and one house

Owned five different vehicles

Had five pets

Earned three college degrees

Attended one funeral

Attended many more weddings

Gotten in countless fights

Forgiven each other just as many times

Been separated by military trainings and deployment three times

Had one beautiful little girl

Christmas 2010

Happy secondary anniversary, darling husband <3

First Father's Day

Today is my husband's first Father's Day. I've been pondering all weekend what exact points I would touch on when writing this post. Probably this has been my hardest to write so far because there are just so many things that I think about when I think of my husband, Jon. Begging him not to tell on me when I scratched his arm in gym class in fifth grade. Flirting with him in our high school math class. All the tears I've shed during his military trainings and deployment to Kuwait. Even more tears that were shed during our many break ups. Getting married. Buying a house together. Camping trips and vacations. Fights, arguments, and making up. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the rocky road of beginning parenthood.

I think that illustrates just a bit of what we've been through together. I don't know for sure, but I am guessing that the first few months of being Amelia's dad was not any more of a piece of cake than being a mother was for me. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure of this when I recall many of our initial battles disagreements of how to deal with her colicky screaming, refusal to be put down, and her difficulty sleeping. I remember reading somewhere that the divorce rate increases dramatically during the first two years of parenthood. I can believe that and congratulate all you parents that have made it past those early years without killing your spouse.

 Add to that Amelia's current insistence that she wants MOMMY when she is upset, and I'm certain that Jon has sometimes wondered if there would be any highlights of fatherhood. I keep telling him that someday Amelia will hate me and only want her dad, but that isn't very reassuring when your baby is screaming and crying with snot running from nose to mouth and reaching for your wife. This despite his efforts to mimic all my tricks, such as rocking, swaying, singing, and shushing. Let's get to the bottom line here, though. For our daughter, if she's upset, and you don't lactate, she's not interested.

Luckily, though, Amelia is old enough that her personality has really blossomed and when she isn't tired and cranky, she has some very special moments with her da da (which she can say already... so not fair.) Sitting on Daddy's lap in the morning while he's on the computer. Going jogging with him and the dog while Mommy goes to the gym. Listening to him read her poetry. His hilarious crawling tutorials. Laughing at her when she says "HEY DA DA!!!!"

So, when I think my husband today on his first Father's Day, these are the moments that I cherish. Seeing my husband look at Amelia with such love and care makes my heart melt into one big puddle of joy. I look forward to all of the Father's Days in our future as special days to reflect on the important bond that our little girl has with her daddy.